Well guys, it's come to another year of Ironmen, some guys have left because of competing priorities or change in their circumstances and others have joined.
Whatever your walk this year with us, we've been blessed to have your company and presence. Iron can not sharpen itself, it needs the grinding of another.
Let's consolidate this year and regroup with a few passing remarks:
If you think about it, men love to hide.
It is said, men “go into their caves”, the ultimate modern neanderthal, retreating into his own personal circumstances, problems, pain, and issues.... all by himself, alone.
Men love to hide, from our wives, our kids, our friends, our colleagues, our clients, our parents, our relatives...our boss... you name it, we love to hide. And then we hide from God.
But the best of all, is ourselves. And I'm speaking from personal experience.
You know, you've been there, you get so wrapped up in a problem that you can't stop thinking about it, you're down in the bunker and really, you're hiding from facing the truth about that situation.
It is said, men won't change unless they accept the truth about themselves. You could say that for all peoples, but it's “truer” if I can use that term for men.
Men love to hide in groups, in the pub, in busyness, in work, in our ipods, in travel, in earning money, in spending it, in planning for our next mountain to conquer... in the late night TV or internet.
And then, 'BOOM'! We come out of the cave and announce we're here – generally not in a constructive, productive, helpful way. Of course, you know the story, because you've been there, it comes out in rage, anger, knee jerk reactions, frustration, violence, threats.... or you might not be the angry alpha male, instead you completely leave that cave (but we'll call it: an area of responsibility) to “find yourself” in something else, which is really code for: “I can't handle this any-more and it's not making me happy or anyone around me, so I'm going... to leave the room, the house, the home, the job, the marriage, the kids, the country...” whatever it is.
This year for me has been a great reminder of why Men love to Hide. As a general rule, we are built to solve problems, we are creators, conquerors, builders, problem solvers. We have to achieve and being the “solutions consultant” is inherent in our DNA. But when we get ourselves into a pickle or better still our wife or family member is in trouble and we can't solve it, we drop into ourselves and hide, to funnily enough look for the answer, or just to let the problem stew.
In Proverbs, 30: 8 Agur, the wise asks of only 2 things before he dies: 1. To never tell a lie (a love for Truth) and 2. Nether wealth or poverty (that would cause separation from God)
Honing in on 1. A love for Truth, to me this is incredibly insightful, because for a man, the position of Truth, means we have come to a place where we can change, get better, improve, refine, adjust, reposition towards a superior level. Whatever analogy you want to spin on it, men need a love for Truth in our lives, about ourselves, our personality, our characteristics, our value system our faith, our skills, our marriage, our kids, our friendships our money, our time... and of course our relationship with our heavenly Father and earthly one.
Take Stock for a Moment
I have asked many a man to come along to Ironmen, not because they are broken, hopeless, or in need of a secret mens' group to help with their addiction. But because every man needs some place where we can possibly find the Truth about ourselves and answers to our everyday challenges.
But most men I've asked, politely say: “Thanks, that sounds like a good idea..” and leave it at that. They go back to hiding. And I can understand why, because who wants to confront the Truth, when you're thinking it's going to read like a Visa statement – overdue, in the red, and getting worse.... let's leave it for another month....
Believe me guys, I get it. I don't like facing the truth at times. BUT:
“An honest answer, is like a kiss on the lips”....
Three final remarks
I can't help but think of Jesus, walking the road with 12 guys every day for 3 years, walking, talking, doing...together. Men do stuff together, side by side whereas women, talk, face to face.
Just think about it.... no where to hide and better still, a great group to work through challenges with. And with God's presence never far away.
I have seen in the last 3 weeks, 2 personal stories of men imploding. On the surface, they are by all means “winners and successful”. But their personal worlds are a mess. And I'm pretty sure they don't even know it. (Because we can rationalise any decision to suit our needs, especially when it comes to abdicating responsibility.) And the after affects on the people who rely on them are life-changing.
When I hear of situations like the previous ones, I ask myself, will that be me next? Am I the next one up? like it's some fatalistic path. And I kinda "frisk" myself to check: my character, my time, my attitude, my work ethic, the status of my wife and kids (i.e are they generally happy/content?), my money, and my relationship with God - are we still talking, have I heard from Him recently?
Men love to hide. Iron, can't be sharpened by itself.
Guys, if nothing else for 2011, come along and be sharpened, and to sharpen me. God knows I need it.
Thanks for turning up, for contributing and at times allowing me to indulge my challenges over the year. You're all great men and men of God at that.
Ben
Monday, December 13, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Giving - By Paul Munro
Giving is quite a broad topic, but you would mostly assume it refers to finances. What that tells me, is that our finances are (by nature) the hardest thing to give. I've never had anyone question me or put me down for giving my time to volunteer. I've definitely never had anyone question the fact that I give my old clothes to the Salvo's - but quite a few times I have been almost interrogated about why I give my money to a church. Or why I send my money overseas when people need it just as much here. Or why I drive a nice car - like, shouldn't Christians be driving Datsuns and Corollas, and nothing newer than 1994? That one's not really relevant, it just annoys me when people live with a poverty-mindset and think it's what God wants.
The funny thing is the people that seem to question me are the ones who give nothing. Unless for some personal gain, they don't give of their time, their knowledge, and definitely not their money. I believe it is in our human nature (the part of our character that is impacted on by society) to not give. TV Ads are constantly telling us to spend, Banks are telling us to save (but mostly spend!) and everyone else is telling us to invest in shares, create super and build wealth.
Unless your parents were givers, and instilled in you to give, a part of us (or all of us) wants to hang on to every hard-earned dollar we have, or spend it on something that satisfies or entertains us.
GIVING IS A MINDSET. The foundation of that mindset is FAITH. When we limit our thinking we limit our capacity to give.
Faith enlarges our concept of what we can give. Naturally, we want to play it safe - we want to pay the bills, fill the car up, and work out what we can then AFFORD to give. Faith says 'I'm going to give this much - I'm going to stretch myself and believe that at the end of the week there is still food on the table, the school fees are paid and I'm still going to be able to take my wife out for dinner.
We are so blessed in this country and even in this part of the country. Don't get me wrong, we have all worked hard to get to where we are, but with blessing comes the challenge to stretch yourself further than you ever have and rise to obedience in giving what we are called to.
Society has it the wrong way around. The world tells us to BUILD WEALTH - to keep working (it never ends). We get to a point where we think we will be happy but we're not - we're always striving for more more more. It also tells us to GIVE COMFORTABLY - to give an amount you can safely afford (whether it be by sponsoring a child, tithing or whatever).
FAITH tells us to build wealth to a point we are comfortable but know that our identity and provision are in Christ. We should, instead, be constantly working to build our GIVING, always striving for the next level.
God will give seed to the sower. I don't go looking for opportunities to give - I believe that the opportunities are already there, you just tend to notice them when you're living wholly dependant on God and you listen to the Holy Spirit.
Come back to the mindset - You are using your head and your heart. You're not giving mindlessly, it takes effort, committment and faith to stretch yourself in giving - But this mindset seems to flow into your whole life and brings joy and builds your faith. Once you have a real grasp on how giving works in your life, you can't go back.
The funny thing is the people that seem to question me are the ones who give nothing. Unless for some personal gain, they don't give of their time, their knowledge, and definitely not their money. I believe it is in our human nature (the part of our character that is impacted on by society) to not give. TV Ads are constantly telling us to spend, Banks are telling us to save (but mostly spend!) and everyone else is telling us to invest in shares, create super and build wealth.
Unless your parents were givers, and instilled in you to give, a part of us (or all of us) wants to hang on to every hard-earned dollar we have, or spend it on something that satisfies or entertains us.
GIVING IS A MINDSET. The foundation of that mindset is FAITH. When we limit our thinking we limit our capacity to give.
Faith enlarges our concept of what we can give. Naturally, we want to play it safe - we want to pay the bills, fill the car up, and work out what we can then AFFORD to give. Faith says 'I'm going to give this much - I'm going to stretch myself and believe that at the end of the week there is still food on the table, the school fees are paid and I'm still going to be able to take my wife out for dinner.
We are so blessed in this country and even in this part of the country. Don't get me wrong, we have all worked hard to get to where we are, but with blessing comes the challenge to stretch yourself further than you ever have and rise to obedience in giving what we are called to.
Society has it the wrong way around. The world tells us to BUILD WEALTH - to keep working (it never ends). We get to a point where we think we will be happy but we're not - we're always striving for more more more. It also tells us to GIVE COMFORTABLY - to give an amount you can safely afford (whether it be by sponsoring a child, tithing or whatever).
FAITH tells us to build wealth to a point we are comfortable but know that our identity and provision are in Christ. We should, instead, be constantly working to build our GIVING, always striving for the next level.
God will give seed to the sower. I don't go looking for opportunities to give - I believe that the opportunities are already there, you just tend to notice them when you're living wholly dependant on God and you listen to the Holy Spirit.
Come back to the mindset - You are using your head and your heart. You're not giving mindlessly, it takes effort, committment and faith to stretch yourself in giving - But this mindset seems to flow into your whole life and brings joy and builds your faith. Once you have a real grasp on how giving works in your life, you can't go back.
Monday, November 29, 2010
The Spirit of Money (Wealth)
The Spirit of Money
So here's my dilemma...
Ever felt like money is a moving target... it comes into your account but then magically disappears.
Some seasons, there is a large windfall, a “little lottery win” you could say, and then the next season, it's only rained half as much and you did the same things, worked hard, completed the same tasks, but the result didn't match the previous tax return...
Better still, you thought, hey I have a windfall here, I'll put some of this to work, invest it, it's going along well, providing a return and then within 6 months, it's almost halved...it's locked up and you can't even get access to it.
Okay, throw in tithing, throw in sponsor kids and charities, throw in those pledges and commitments you made to God to build his church.... and now what...?
And then you read:
Matthew 6:
31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God[d] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
Or
Luke 12:
13 Then someone called from the crowd, “Teacher, please tell my brother to divide our father’s estate with me.”
14 Jesus replied, “Friend, who made me a judge over you to decide such things as that?” 15 Then he said, “Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own.”
16 Then he told them a story: “A rich man had a fertile farm that produced fine crops. 17 He said to himself, ‘What should I do? I don’t have room for all my crops.’ 18 Then he said, ‘I know! I’ll tear down my barns and build bigger ones. Then I’ll have room enough to store all my wheat and other goods. 19 And I’ll sit back and say to myself, “My friend, you have enough stored away for years to come. Now take it easy! Eat, drink, and be merry!”’
20 “But God said to him, ‘You fool! You will die this very night. Then who will get everything you worked for?’
21 “Yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God.”
But then you read:
3 John 1:2
Beloved I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health just as your soul prospers
Psalm 1
1 Blesssed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or sit in the seat fo mockers or stand in the way of sinners instead he meditates on the law day and night and is like a tree planted by streams of water which yield it's fruit in season, not so the wicked for they are blown like chaff.
Commit your ways to the lord, and you will have good success
Test me in this, try me, and see that I will open the windows of heaven that your barns will not be able to contain the abundance
The Devil comes to steal kill and destroy.... but I have come to give life and life in abundance..
If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray.... I will restore their land.
Proverbs 28: 20 The trustworthy person will get a rich reward,
but a person who wants quick riches will get into trouble.
To my mind, if I try and look at it through the eyes of Jesus, here's what he's got to say and his character and actions say just as much:
He came to give – give his life
He didn't worry about tomorrow and what he had on his back
He was accountable to God
Whatever he did, he gave or did with 12 baskets too much
He warned of getting rich in place of God's kingdom like Proverbs 28:20
He never talked about a vow of poverty or doing without or doing it tough, rather he said that God's character is to provide us our physical needs beyond how the lillies are clothed.
He really knew that the pursuit of wealth at the expense of God was a powerful spiritual force.
In that case, the generation and maintainability of wealth needs the following:
1.Prayer: for ways to make it, grow it, maintain it, give it
2.Give – to a level that means I have to rely on God (Proverbs 30: 7-9)
3.Rebuke the enemy: Malachi 3 by giving and tithing
4.Continue to be faithful in all seasons of wealth
So here's my dilemma...
Ever felt like money is a moving target... it comes into your account but then magically disappears.
Some seasons, there is a large windfall, a “little lottery win” you could say, and then the next season, it's only rained half as much and you did the same things, worked hard, completed the same tasks, but the result didn't match the previous tax return...
Better still, you thought, hey I have a windfall here, I'll put some of this to work, invest it, it's going along well, providing a return and then within 6 months, it's almost halved...it's locked up and you can't even get access to it.
Okay, throw in tithing, throw in sponsor kids and charities, throw in those pledges and commitments you made to God to build his church.... and now what...?
And then you read:
Matthew 6:
31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God[d] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
Or
Luke 12:
13 Then someone called from the crowd, “Teacher, please tell my brother to divide our father’s estate with me.”
14 Jesus replied, “Friend, who made me a judge over you to decide such things as that?” 15 Then he said, “Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own.”
16 Then he told them a story: “A rich man had a fertile farm that produced fine crops. 17 He said to himself, ‘What should I do? I don’t have room for all my crops.’ 18 Then he said, ‘I know! I’ll tear down my barns and build bigger ones. Then I’ll have room enough to store all my wheat and other goods. 19 And I’ll sit back and say to myself, “My friend, you have enough stored away for years to come. Now take it easy! Eat, drink, and be merry!”’
20 “But God said to him, ‘You fool! You will die this very night. Then who will get everything you worked for?’
21 “Yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God.”
But then you read:
3 John 1:2
Beloved I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health just as your soul prospers
Psalm 1
1 Blesssed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or sit in the seat fo mockers or stand in the way of sinners instead he meditates on the law day and night and is like a tree planted by streams of water which yield it's fruit in season, not so the wicked for they are blown like chaff.
Commit your ways to the lord, and you will have good success
Test me in this, try me, and see that I will open the windows of heaven that your barns will not be able to contain the abundance
The Devil comes to steal kill and destroy.... but I have come to give life and life in abundance..
If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray.... I will restore their land.
Proverbs 28: 20 The trustworthy person will get a rich reward,
but a person who wants quick riches will get into trouble.
To my mind, if I try and look at it through the eyes of Jesus, here's what he's got to say and his character and actions say just as much:
He came to give – give his life
He didn't worry about tomorrow and what he had on his back
He was accountable to God
Whatever he did, he gave or did with 12 baskets too much
He warned of getting rich in place of God's kingdom like Proverbs 28:20
He never talked about a vow of poverty or doing without or doing it tough, rather he said that God's character is to provide us our physical needs beyond how the lillies are clothed.
He really knew that the pursuit of wealth at the expense of God was a powerful spiritual force.
In that case, the generation and maintainability of wealth needs the following:
1.Prayer: for ways to make it, grow it, maintain it, give it
2.Give – to a level that means I have to rely on God (Proverbs 30: 7-9)
3.Rebuke the enemy: Malachi 3 by giving and tithing
4.Continue to be faithful in all seasons of wealth
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Character
Okay guys, following on from the previous sessions on Value, let's finish this with another part that is an enabler to sustaining our values and value system: Character.
Hebrews 1:3 Jesus Christ radiates God's own glory and expresses the very character of God...
Just stop right there. "... the character of God"
Jesus Christ is the "secret special sauce" to life because he has the character of God.
Hold that thought and take a look at this:
The word Character in the Greek I am told is "Charakter": to engrave, imprint, a stamp, duplication - what the first stamp carries, perfectly onto the next.
It is said that when we meet another, we leave our mark on the them, or they on us. That is, we show our character. First impressions can be good but unsustainable.
It is said, the true character of another rises to the surface over time.
I would say, that the true test of a man's character is on display when difficulty and adversity comes. Am I a flake or a man of my word, a man who holds to my values?
Hold that thought and come with me to Genesis: "Go and subdue the earth and govern it" - the Dominion mandate. That is, God has given us the authority to govern the earth, to reproduce and do greater works. As one person put it: It is the loving transformative stewardship that creates greater things/outcomes than what we had before.
Who said that? JC himself: You will do greater works than mine....
JC, so confident in himself that he was not intimidated, or had an issue with his personal character, because he knew who he was. Guys, don't overlook what I have just said: most of us today (if not all) have at some stage had a personal crisis of character. You know the story: the affect of that crisis could be minimal or has been life changing.
So a man's character is corrupted at the Fall. That's why God has to deal with matters of a man's heart,(“out of a man's heart, come the issues of life”) his character before he can begin to be transformed and walk out the Dominion Mandate.
The affect of not managing our character, keeping the corruption in our hearts is self evident. Look around and see. It may not be untrue to suggest that effectively all aspects of human society that has trouble, is caused by a crisis of character.
One example I heard was of the first $1B athlete. $100M of that was because of his talents, his ability, the other $900M was for endorsements, brought about by the perception of his character. But when that character was found to be otherwise, the endorsements quickly diminished.
The point being, out talents, our skill, our ability, our looks, our image will take us so far, but it will be unsustainable if our character is not set up.
Just think about it for a minute: As men, we are so locked into our self image by what we do, what we achieve, and yet if you're anything like me, I try and fight that and be super altruistic and say “ I am not defined by my job or title”, and some days that is true, but the real litmus test is when you get fired/retrenched/redundant/given a written warning.... and then you question the importance you place on your talent and character is given a lower rating at that time. Then we blame the boss, the company, someone else, something else.... it's not my responsibility. And even if it wasn't, if you're anything like me, you begin the trash the guy that fired you. Can you see Jesus doing that?
We spend (as we rightly should) a lot on investing and enhancing our talents and abilities, but what of our character. It's all great to get to the top and be king of our world, but as Tiger Woods (and he's just the high profile one) found out, your character, your characteristics, your person (that is what you think and what you do) rise to the top..... Boy have I had acted in an inappropriate way and afterwards sat back and thought: where did that come from?
To my mind a good few questions to ask our-selves:
What is the imprint that I leave with people that I come into contact with on a regular basis?
What would be their response if someone were to ask them about my character? Better still do you think they are gossiping about me?
Can I really be trusted, I mean really be trusted.
Do I protect the absent in conversations when they are not present?
How would I describe the character of JC? Secondly, am I attempting to imitate those characteristics?
Here are some great quotes on character:
Character cannot be summoned at the moment of crisis if it has been squandered by years of compromise and rationalization. The only testing ground for the heroic is the mundane. The only preparation for that one profound decision which can change a life, or even a nation, is those hundreds of half-conscious, self-defining, seemingly insignificant decisions made in private. Habit is the daily battleground of character. (Dan Coats)
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost. (Billy Graham)
Character is the ability to follow through on a resolution long after the emotion with which it was made has passed. (Brian Tracy)
Hebrews 1:3 Jesus Christ radiates God's own glory and expresses the very character of God...
Just stop right there. "... the character of God"
Jesus Christ is the "secret special sauce" to life because he has the character of God.
Hold that thought and take a look at this:
The word Character in the Greek I am told is "Charakter": to engrave, imprint, a stamp, duplication - what the first stamp carries, perfectly onto the next.
It is said that when we meet another, we leave our mark on the them, or they on us. That is, we show our character. First impressions can be good but unsustainable.
It is said, the true character of another rises to the surface over time.
I would say, that the true test of a man's character is on display when difficulty and adversity comes. Am I a flake or a man of my word, a man who holds to my values?
Hold that thought and come with me to Genesis: "Go and subdue the earth and govern it" - the Dominion mandate. That is, God has given us the authority to govern the earth, to reproduce and do greater works. As one person put it: It is the loving transformative stewardship that creates greater things/outcomes than what we had before.
Who said that? JC himself: You will do greater works than mine....
JC, so confident in himself that he was not intimidated, or had an issue with his personal character, because he knew who he was. Guys, don't overlook what I have just said: most of us today (if not all) have at some stage had a personal crisis of character. You know the story: the affect of that crisis could be minimal or has been life changing.
So a man's character is corrupted at the Fall. That's why God has to deal with matters of a man's heart,(“out of a man's heart, come the issues of life”) his character before he can begin to be transformed and walk out the Dominion Mandate.
The affect of not managing our character, keeping the corruption in our hearts is self evident. Look around and see. It may not be untrue to suggest that effectively all aspects of human society that has trouble, is caused by a crisis of character.
One example I heard was of the first $1B athlete. $100M of that was because of his talents, his ability, the other $900M was for endorsements, brought about by the perception of his character. But when that character was found to be otherwise, the endorsements quickly diminished.
The point being, out talents, our skill, our ability, our looks, our image will take us so far, but it will be unsustainable if our character is not set up.
Just think about it for a minute: As men, we are so locked into our self image by what we do, what we achieve, and yet if you're anything like me, I try and fight that and be super altruistic and say “ I am not defined by my job or title”, and some days that is true, but the real litmus test is when you get fired/retrenched/redundant/given a written warning.... and then you question the importance you place on your talent and character is given a lower rating at that time. Then we blame the boss, the company, someone else, something else.... it's not my responsibility. And even if it wasn't, if you're anything like me, you begin the trash the guy that fired you. Can you see Jesus doing that?
We spend (as we rightly should) a lot on investing and enhancing our talents and abilities, but what of our character. It's all great to get to the top and be king of our world, but as Tiger Woods (and he's just the high profile one) found out, your character, your characteristics, your person (that is what you think and what you do) rise to the top..... Boy have I had acted in an inappropriate way and afterwards sat back and thought: where did that come from?
To my mind a good few questions to ask our-selves:
What is the imprint that I leave with people that I come into contact with on a regular basis?
What would be their response if someone were to ask them about my character? Better still do you think they are gossiping about me?
Can I really be trusted, I mean really be trusted.
Do I protect the absent in conversations when they are not present?
How would I describe the character of JC? Secondly, am I attempting to imitate those characteristics?
Here are some great quotes on character:
Character cannot be summoned at the moment of crisis if it has been squandered by years of compromise and rationalization. The only testing ground for the heroic is the mundane. The only preparation for that one profound decision which can change a life, or even a nation, is those hundreds of half-conscious, self-defining, seemingly insignificant decisions made in private. Habit is the daily battleground of character. (Dan Coats)
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost. (Billy Graham)
Character is the ability to follow through on a resolution long after the emotion with which it was made has passed. (Brian Tracy)
Monday, October 18, 2010
Values Part 2
So here's a question:
Where do your values come from?
What defines them?
Why are they important and in which order?
How do you know they are your core values Vs just preferences ?
Scenario 1
The world was a fluke, a 1 in a trillion chance of ending up as we are, without purpose, without thought or design or principles. Without wisdom, without governance.
Mankind, through survival of the fittest or by sheer luck rises to dominate the world.
Where do values come into play...?
We have to create them ourselves, everything, every rule, every principle, every conscious thought process and action is then audited through the values and value system we have created ourselves individually.
Then we turn to the person next to us, they have an entirely different set of values, and as time goes on, those values (as do yours) change.
Outcome: ???
Scenario 2:
God created the universe (heavens) and earth in wisdom, with structure and order, with values and principles.
Mankind lives according to values and a value system according to the author of life.
All mankind living in agreement of the values.
Outcome: ???
To my mind, as men, it is wisdom in practice to ask ourselves, where do my values come from, why I believe in them and what is their purpose for my life and the people around me.
Upon reflection, I am a man with several strong convictions and priorities. How do I know that? Because of the way I live my life, where I spend my time and money and who are the recipients of that.
Your most precious asset you have in life is yourself and your time, once you give it out, you can never get it back.
Your second most precious asset are the assets/resources you have to spend on ourselves and others.
Currently my core values in order:
Faith
Wife
Family
Health (all aspects)
Work
People & Community (especially Men and then the vulnerable)
Now for others they will be different, and as time and circumstances change, so will the core values and I suspect their order
But just think about it men for moment, isn't it so important where these values come from.
Some will say from our parents (or lack thereof), their school, their community, their spiritual instructors or enlighten ones, great people who have impacted our lives.....
Which are all (assuming the values have some connection to God's Truth) good, but the question I have, is are they in line with the Author of Life. God never says "go your own way and I'll bless you". Just think about it, you'd never say that to your son .. off he goes for example, doing drugs, getting STD's, cheating his way around employers, avoiding taxes and more so lying to your face so he can get more cash off you... and you say "Bless you, here you go.. keep up the good life"...
Alright, some of you might be saying "well Ben, that's extreme, I don't need God or a god to align my core values, I've got my own and they've got me to where I am today, thank you very much".
Okay, then let's tone down the previous example with a sample of today's Values in action:
"I feel out of love with her and feel in love with another woman" (Bob Hawke on Hazel and Blanche)
"Check this out, I got free workcover with my broken wrists because I claimed i did it on the way to work, when I injured myself on the weekend" (work colleague - last week)
"I can do anything I want, I am my own man, it's my right to live the life I want to live" ( associate)
"Why would the child need a father, I'm all it needs" (single woman talking about her IVF conceived child with anonymous sperm donor - 4 Corners)
"Year 12 girls are more likely to have had sex than boys, and teenagers are likely to have had sex with more partners than a decade ago, a national survey has shown. More than 61 per cent of year 12 girls said they had had sex, compared to 44 per cent of boys of that year, the study by LaTrobe University's faculty of health sciences researchers found." (SMH: Oct 6 2010)
(as an aside to this last quotation, what does it say of our value system, when teenage girls are imitating the bad behaviors of men and out pacing men)
"A baby can be terminated or aborted at 20 weeks because it's not considered a human being by the state, even though it has everything you and I have, it's just immature" (midwife at the Royal Hospital for Women)
You see life would seem to be so much simpler and easier if we lived by the value system of scenario 1.. then we wouldn't "force" our values on others if they don't match, but then the fruit of that is in some areas is clearly evident today. 90,000 babies aborted each year and growing, billions invested prisons, tax fraud, security, health, etc etc largely because men are rudderless value vessels. Men, we want to be better than that. We want to at least give life a good hard crack at being "top shelf" men, putting a big smile on our Heavenly Father's face.
IMAGINE THE NEXT GENERATION OF MEN LIVING OUT SCENARIO 1, NO CORE VALUES, NO CORE TRUTH.... and the cycle passes on to the next generation...
In addition to the question of where do our values come from and why we believe them, that's all good if we know the answer, but then we have to apply them.
Wisdom is the application of Godly values. Values without implementation are as useful as salt water in the desert.
Proverbs 8:22-36 - "Wisdom's call" is the application of God's value system. Basically saying, if you implement God's values, you're wisdom in action and you'll live the life Jesus spoke of " a rich and satisfying life".
Summary
In my heart of hearts, I know men have an inner desire to aspire to be live up to the greatness that God has called us. We watch a movie, read a book or hear in the news of some man who's given much, accomplished greatness in his community, forgiven and overcome personal mountains... and we are emboldened to do the same for a fleeting moment. The movie Amazing Grace- the story of Lord Wilberforce, Invictus - the story of the Springboks and President Nelson Mandela, The Blind Side - the story of the homeless kid, "big Mike"... and then the story of Jesus Christ, the man who said " Father forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing", "I have come, not to condemn the world, but to save it" "I am the way, the truth and the life, no one comes to God but through me [ my values, my value system, my ways, because i know how this life works best being the son of the author of life]
"Seek God first and his heavenly ways, don't worry about missing out, and the rest of your life will be taken care of" (Matthew 6:33)
Where do your values come from?
What defines them?
Why are they important and in which order?
How do you know they are your core values Vs just preferences ?
Scenario 1
The world was a fluke, a 1 in a trillion chance of ending up as we are, without purpose, without thought or design or principles. Without wisdom, without governance.
Mankind, through survival of the fittest or by sheer luck rises to dominate the world.
Where do values come into play...?
We have to create them ourselves, everything, every rule, every principle, every conscious thought process and action is then audited through the values and value system we have created ourselves individually.
Then we turn to the person next to us, they have an entirely different set of values, and as time goes on, those values (as do yours) change.
Outcome: ???
Scenario 2:
God created the universe (heavens) and earth in wisdom, with structure and order, with values and principles.
Mankind lives according to values and a value system according to the author of life.
All mankind living in agreement of the values.
Outcome: ???
To my mind, as men, it is wisdom in practice to ask ourselves, where do my values come from, why I believe in them and what is their purpose for my life and the people around me.
Upon reflection, I am a man with several strong convictions and priorities. How do I know that? Because of the way I live my life, where I spend my time and money and who are the recipients of that.
Your most precious asset you have in life is yourself and your time, once you give it out, you can never get it back.
Your second most precious asset are the assets/resources you have to spend on ourselves and others.
Currently my core values in order:
Faith
Wife
Family
Health (all aspects)
Work
People & Community (especially Men and then the vulnerable)
Now for others they will be different, and as time and circumstances change, so will the core values and I suspect their order
But just think about it men for moment, isn't it so important where these values come from.
Some will say from our parents (or lack thereof), their school, their community, their spiritual instructors or enlighten ones, great people who have impacted our lives.....
Which are all (assuming the values have some connection to God's Truth) good, but the question I have, is are they in line with the Author of Life. God never says "go your own way and I'll bless you". Just think about it, you'd never say that to your son .. off he goes for example, doing drugs, getting STD's, cheating his way around employers, avoiding taxes and more so lying to your face so he can get more cash off you... and you say "Bless you, here you go.. keep up the good life"...
Alright, some of you might be saying "well Ben, that's extreme, I don't need God or a god to align my core values, I've got my own and they've got me to where I am today, thank you very much".
Okay, then let's tone down the previous example with a sample of today's Values in action:
"I feel out of love with her and feel in love with another woman" (Bob Hawke on Hazel and Blanche)
"Check this out, I got free workcover with my broken wrists because I claimed i did it on the way to work, when I injured myself on the weekend" (work colleague - last week)
"I can do anything I want, I am my own man, it's my right to live the life I want to live" ( associate)
"Why would the child need a father, I'm all it needs" (single woman talking about her IVF conceived child with anonymous sperm donor - 4 Corners)
"Year 12 girls are more likely to have had sex than boys, and teenagers are likely to have had sex with more partners than a decade ago, a national survey has shown. More than 61 per cent of year 12 girls said they had had sex, compared to 44 per cent of boys of that year, the study by LaTrobe University's faculty of health sciences researchers found." (SMH: Oct 6 2010)
(as an aside to this last quotation, what does it say of our value system, when teenage girls are imitating the bad behaviors of men and out pacing men)
"A baby can be terminated or aborted at 20 weeks because it's not considered a human being by the state, even though it has everything you and I have, it's just immature" (midwife at the Royal Hospital for Women)
You see life would seem to be so much simpler and easier if we lived by the value system of scenario 1.. then we wouldn't "force" our values on others if they don't match, but then the fruit of that is in some areas is clearly evident today. 90,000 babies aborted each year and growing, billions invested prisons, tax fraud, security, health, etc etc largely because men are rudderless value vessels. Men, we want to be better than that. We want to at least give life a good hard crack at being "top shelf" men, putting a big smile on our Heavenly Father's face.
IMAGINE THE NEXT GENERATION OF MEN LIVING OUT SCENARIO 1, NO CORE VALUES, NO CORE TRUTH.... and the cycle passes on to the next generation...
In addition to the question of where do our values come from and why we believe them, that's all good if we know the answer, but then we have to apply them.
Wisdom is the application of Godly values. Values without implementation are as useful as salt water in the desert.
Proverbs 8:22-36 - "Wisdom's call" is the application of God's value system. Basically saying, if you implement God's values, you're wisdom in action and you'll live the life Jesus spoke of " a rich and satisfying life".
Summary
In my heart of hearts, I know men have an inner desire to aspire to be live up to the greatness that God has called us. We watch a movie, read a book or hear in the news of some man who's given much, accomplished greatness in his community, forgiven and overcome personal mountains... and we are emboldened to do the same for a fleeting moment. The movie Amazing Grace- the story of Lord Wilberforce, Invictus - the story of the Springboks and President Nelson Mandela, The Blind Side - the story of the homeless kid, "big Mike"... and then the story of Jesus Christ, the man who said " Father forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing", "I have come, not to condemn the world, but to save it" "I am the way, the truth and the life, no one comes to God but through me [ my values, my value system, my ways, because i know how this life works best being the son of the author of life]
"Seek God first and his heavenly ways, don't worry about missing out, and the rest of your life will be taken care of" (Matthew 6:33)
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Values
Values
Where do they come from, what values do you have, how do you define values and what place do they have in our lives?
When you think about it, values are such a crucial aspect to a man's life and the path that he and his family, friends and associates walk.
I'm not sure about you, but this is one area that I've overlooked and haven't appreciably meditated on and seriously defined. Don't get me wrong, I have strong convictions and principles, but to qualify and prioritize my core values - that I have not done and would suspect, most men haven't.
Pastor AR Barnard states that for men to grow - that is improve in their walk in life, they need 3 structures:
Clearly articulated world view
Clear set of core values
Clear set of core purposes
So let's look at point 2.
Order V's Chaos
Before the fall of man, there was order and structure, God had structure and order, chaos ( the opposite of order and governance) entered man's world at the fall of man with his decision to abandon God's order.
So Christ comes into our lives and begins the restoration of that order in our lives, that is, as men, we're begin a reconstruction process, we're "under construction". Christ rebuilds our lives, we then have to consolidate and defend each new part and then rebuild the next part of our life. Man does not become immediately fixed and restored by a prayer, but a process with the HS.
The point of defending that reconstruction is that chaos is always circulating around the perimeter of our lives looking for an opportunity / weakness to re-enter our lives. For example, poverty, proclivities, hatred, anger, violence, infidelity, fear...
So where do values come into this?:
Core Values have the following:
- They are convictions, not preferences
- What you are willing to stand for, fight for, pay the price for
- They are non-negotiationable
- If you violate them, you are effectively betraying yourself, you are sinning
- They guide your choices
- They are the lens by which we make choices
(Choices we as men make are the very reason I am running Ironmen)
When we define our core values, then we need to think about how we prioritize them.
Think about this, 2 people, married, both have the same values, but have them at different levels of importance. This immediately becomes a point of contention.
The husband values career higher than she, and she values time together higher than career....
Once we have defined our core values and assigned a value system to them, we then should begin to see how these govern our lives.
Jesus, as an example gave men a value system:
"Seek first the kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you"
"I have come to give life, and life in all it's best and greatest... a rich and satisfying life"
and John says:
" I wish above all things that you prosper and are in good health, just as your soul prospers"
Values are a key to achieving that rich and satisfying life.... the author of Life, giving us the value system to unlock the door to a great life..
For me a little but powerful revelation about how powerful the definitions of my values was when thinking about my time at my previous employer, for 2 years I enjoyed my time, but for the last 3 years I always look back with a sense of discomfort and unease. It occurred to me while preparing this talk, that the reason was partially because my employer did not have the same values as I - there was conflict.
Just think about this for our career's an work life - if your boss's value or employers value systems are not the same as yours, there is immediate conflict.
In our marriages, if your wife's' values are different from yours, there is likely a large emotional bankruptcy going on in her heart built up over years of not meeting her values... or her's not meeting yours, manifesting in frustration and a wandering eye.
Next Week we'll look into where do values come from, how to implement them, what values we've come up with...
Where do they come from, what values do you have, how do you define values and what place do they have in our lives?
When you think about it, values are such a crucial aspect to a man's life and the path that he and his family, friends and associates walk.
I'm not sure about you, but this is one area that I've overlooked and haven't appreciably meditated on and seriously defined. Don't get me wrong, I have strong convictions and principles, but to qualify and prioritize my core values - that I have not done and would suspect, most men haven't.
Pastor AR Barnard states that for men to grow - that is improve in their walk in life, they need 3 structures:
Clearly articulated world view
Clear set of core values
Clear set of core purposes
So let's look at point 2.
Order V's Chaos
Before the fall of man, there was order and structure, God had structure and order, chaos ( the opposite of order and governance) entered man's world at the fall of man with his decision to abandon God's order.
So Christ comes into our lives and begins the restoration of that order in our lives, that is, as men, we're begin a reconstruction process, we're "under construction". Christ rebuilds our lives, we then have to consolidate and defend each new part and then rebuild the next part of our life. Man does not become immediately fixed and restored by a prayer, but a process with the HS.
The point of defending that reconstruction is that chaos is always circulating around the perimeter of our lives looking for an opportunity / weakness to re-enter our lives. For example, poverty, proclivities, hatred, anger, violence, infidelity, fear...
So where do values come into this?:
Core Values have the following:
- They are convictions, not preferences
- What you are willing to stand for, fight for, pay the price for
- They are non-negotiationable
- If you violate them, you are effectively betraying yourself, you are sinning
- They guide your choices
- They are the lens by which we make choices
(Choices we as men make are the very reason I am running Ironmen)
When we define our core values, then we need to think about how we prioritize them.
Think about this, 2 people, married, both have the same values, but have them at different levels of importance. This immediately becomes a point of contention.
The husband values career higher than she, and she values time together higher than career....
Once we have defined our core values and assigned a value system to them, we then should begin to see how these govern our lives.
Jesus, as an example gave men a value system:
"Seek first the kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you"
"I have come to give life, and life in all it's best and greatest... a rich and satisfying life"
and John says:
" I wish above all things that you prosper and are in good health, just as your soul prospers"
Values are a key to achieving that rich and satisfying life.... the author of Life, giving us the value system to unlock the door to a great life..
For me a little but powerful revelation about how powerful the definitions of my values was when thinking about my time at my previous employer, for 2 years I enjoyed my time, but for the last 3 years I always look back with a sense of discomfort and unease. It occurred to me while preparing this talk, that the reason was partially because my employer did not have the same values as I - there was conflict.
Just think about this for our career's an work life - if your boss's value or employers value systems are not the same as yours, there is immediate conflict.
In our marriages, if your wife's' values are different from yours, there is likely a large emotional bankruptcy going on in her heart built up over years of not meeting her values... or her's not meeting yours, manifesting in frustration and a wandering eye.
Next Week we'll look into where do values come from, how to implement them, what values we've come up with...
Thursday, August 5, 2010
VISION & PURPOSE OF IRONMEN
IRONMEN – VISION OF
Are you the sharpest tool in the shed?
“As iron, sharpens iron,
So a man sharpens the counsel of his friend”
Proverbs 27:17.
Or another way to put it, as one of my previous managers would say to me: “Ben, how can you soar like an eagle when you’re surrounded by turkeys...?”
You have to admit, the man has a point.
We all become like the people we engage and include on a consistent basis.
As you and I walk this life out, as men created in the image of our Father, I need the ongoing support and camaraderie of other men. Men whom I can be sharpened by, men whom I can sharpen, men just like me, wanting to walk strong, though stumble and fall, but know that my inner man, integrity and character are in tact and get back up.
You see, I run a connect group for men - I call it “Ironmen”. For those that have completed an Ironman triathlon (3.8km swim, 180km bike, 42km run), you only need to look around your competitors to know that you hope you’ve trained as much, if not more than the guy next to you.
The Ironman event is a long journey, with different disciplines, different stages, and a raft of emotions that track both ends of the spectrum. But as with any distance event, mental toughness and just plain old dogedness, is what’s needed in the final stages to get you home, finishing strong.
Sounds like a life you want to compete in? That’s what Realmen ministry and Ironmen is for. As a man in his mid 30’s, beautiful wife (some would say “trophy” wife, but we’ll leave it at that), 3 fantastic healthy happy kids, church commitments, full time job, hectic schedules, wife that works part time, a little business travel, swimming, dance, art lessons, training for 100KM endurance events, social catch ups, assisting school community reading programs..... you’re trying to synchronise 4 diaries into your iPhone......sound familiar?
Then one day: bang! It all changes because of a stupid decision you made on a business trip in a moment of weakness.... or, you check the bank statement online, your wife’s called saying she can’t buy the groceries because there’s no credit or cash left, the mortgage interest only payments are 10 days overdue... or, you’ve found out your wife has been sexually assaulted years ago and it’s come to the surface 5 years into your marriage and she says, she’s not in love with you any more.....
You know as well as I do, these scenarios, are not fake or trumped up. And where is God in the midst of this?
The purpose of Ironmen, is to get sharpened in my decision making and improve and test my character pillars and be spiritually game ready for when life throws curve balls at my decision making.
Why be wise and sharp after the fact? That’s a “Monday’s expert” Men, let's get pre-emptive here. God says: My son, pay careful attention to wisdom!
As I see it, Ironmen has the following 4 objectives that, play out in the Proverb: As Iron sharpens Iron, so a man sharpens the counsel of is friend.
1. Use the Word of God:
To be used accurately: to use it accurately, we’ve got to digest it and cross examine it
As a fall back position: when our faith is failing, and we’re tired and in a weakened state
As a weapon of mass destruction: It’s our Father’s weapon to building our world
2.Safety
We all need our own solace at times, but too much alone is a pathway to self delusion and then ultimately destruction.
A place for men to have safe harbour from the tempest of life, no judgement, no criticism,
but a place of understanding and rest from issues that only men know about.
A place that doesn’t feel like you’re in the therapy room, but can discuss and work through in confidence. Church is great, but men need spiritual intimacy without having their thoughts and feeling emasculated.
3. Encouragement
No hand holding here, but shoulder to shoulder. Hand on shoulder, encouraging the other, standing with another man: “you’re going to get through this, it’s going to work, I don’t know how, but I know it’s going to work out”. No well meaning, but ill timed motherhood statements or bible passages without context of the man’s personal situation.
Encouragement that build’s another man’s inner man. Only men can impart that to another, usually it’s our fathers, but not stating the bleeding obvious that some father’s have done the opposite. Besides, men need all the encouragement we can get.
4. Hero’s and Champions
Without getting corny, every man has the God given spiritual DNA on the inside of him to be the conquerer, the champion, the hero, the last man standing. We might not say it in words, but we want our wives, kids, colleagues, leaders and friends to publicly state they couldn’t have completed life through without us. Our Father has created us in His Image, His DNA is on the inside of us, there's a reason we want to be the hero, the champion, it's our Father's imprint for crying our loud, we need other men to draw this out, to step up to the plate and take ownership and conquer challenges that others have been shouldering in our absence.
My father took his own life just before my 2nd birthday. My mother found him in the car in the garage. That was in 1977, September 12. Imagine if he'd been involved in something like Ironmen ministry at the time...?
Men today, we're not basket cases, or irresponsible, or juvenile, but we do need to sharpen each other up, keep the next generation on their toes, lift the benchmark of the strength of our inner man. We need each other with our Father's spirit to achieve that. Iron sharpening Iron, sharpens Iron, sharpens Iron.....
Are you the sharpest tool in the shed?
“As iron, sharpens iron,
So a man sharpens the counsel of his friend”
Proverbs 27:17.
Or another way to put it, as one of my previous managers would say to me: “Ben, how can you soar like an eagle when you’re surrounded by turkeys...?”
You have to admit, the man has a point.
We all become like the people we engage and include on a consistent basis.
As you and I walk this life out, as men created in the image of our Father, I need the ongoing support and camaraderie of other men. Men whom I can be sharpened by, men whom I can sharpen, men just like me, wanting to walk strong, though stumble and fall, but know that my inner man, integrity and character are in tact and get back up.
You see, I run a connect group for men - I call it “Ironmen”. For those that have completed an Ironman triathlon (3.8km swim, 180km bike, 42km run), you only need to look around your competitors to know that you hope you’ve trained as much, if not more than the guy next to you.
The Ironman event is a long journey, with different disciplines, different stages, and a raft of emotions that track both ends of the spectrum. But as with any distance event, mental toughness and just plain old dogedness, is what’s needed in the final stages to get you home, finishing strong.
Sounds like a life you want to compete in? That’s what Realmen ministry and Ironmen is for. As a man in his mid 30’s, beautiful wife (some would say “trophy” wife, but we’ll leave it at that), 3 fantastic healthy happy kids, church commitments, full time job, hectic schedules, wife that works part time, a little business travel, swimming, dance, art lessons, training for 100KM endurance events, social catch ups, assisting school community reading programs..... you’re trying to synchronise 4 diaries into your iPhone......sound familiar?
Then one day: bang! It all changes because of a stupid decision you made on a business trip in a moment of weakness.... or, you check the bank statement online, your wife’s called saying she can’t buy the groceries because there’s no credit or cash left, the mortgage interest only payments are 10 days overdue... or, you’ve found out your wife has been sexually assaulted years ago and it’s come to the surface 5 years into your marriage and she says, she’s not in love with you any more.....
You know as well as I do, these scenarios, are not fake or trumped up. And where is God in the midst of this?
The purpose of Ironmen, is to get sharpened in my decision making and improve and test my character pillars and be spiritually game ready for when life throws curve balls at my decision making.
Why be wise and sharp after the fact? That’s a “Monday’s expert” Men, let's get pre-emptive here. God says: My son, pay careful attention to wisdom!
As I see it, Ironmen has the following 4 objectives that, play out in the Proverb: As Iron sharpens Iron, so a man sharpens the counsel of is friend.
1. Use the Word of God:
To be used accurately: to use it accurately, we’ve got to digest it and cross examine it
As a fall back position: when our faith is failing, and we’re tired and in a weakened state
As a weapon of mass destruction: It’s our Father’s weapon to building our world
2.Safety
We all need our own solace at times, but too much alone is a pathway to self delusion and then ultimately destruction.
A place for men to have safe harbour from the tempest of life, no judgement, no criticism,
but a place of understanding and rest from issues that only men know about.
A place that doesn’t feel like you’re in the therapy room, but can discuss and work through in confidence. Church is great, but men need spiritual intimacy without having their thoughts and feeling emasculated.
3. Encouragement
No hand holding here, but shoulder to shoulder. Hand on shoulder, encouraging the other, standing with another man: “you’re going to get through this, it’s going to work, I don’t know how, but I know it’s going to work out”. No well meaning, but ill timed motherhood statements or bible passages without context of the man’s personal situation.
Encouragement that build’s another man’s inner man. Only men can impart that to another, usually it’s our fathers, but not stating the bleeding obvious that some father’s have done the opposite. Besides, men need all the encouragement we can get.
4. Hero’s and Champions
Without getting corny, every man has the God given spiritual DNA on the inside of him to be the conquerer, the champion, the hero, the last man standing. We might not say it in words, but we want our wives, kids, colleagues, leaders and friends to publicly state they couldn’t have completed life through without us. Our Father has created us in His Image, His DNA is on the inside of us, there's a reason we want to be the hero, the champion, it's our Father's imprint for crying our loud, we need other men to draw this out, to step up to the plate and take ownership and conquer challenges that others have been shouldering in our absence.
My father took his own life just before my 2nd birthday. My mother found him in the car in the garage. That was in 1977, September 12. Imagine if he'd been involved in something like Ironmen ministry at the time...?
Men today, we're not basket cases, or irresponsible, or juvenile, but we do need to sharpen each other up, keep the next generation on their toes, lift the benchmark of the strength of our inner man. We need each other with our Father's spirit to achieve that. Iron sharpening Iron, sharpens Iron, sharpens Iron.....
HEARING THE VOICE OF GOD
IRONMEN – Having a dialogue with your Father
Discerning our Heavenly Father's voice – Part 1
Let me start by putting this suggestion out there:
If you or I (now this is to men I am speaking to) can't hear or decipher when our heavenly father is speaking to us, then I suggest that our walk with God will result in either or combination of:
A leaving of that relationship
A religious based relationship ( I.e it's unfulfilling and unsatisfactory, but it fills a void to have some base line connection with God)
A frustrated one sided relationship with no genuine connection or spiritual and emotional intimacy
Okay, so before we go on, yes I did mention the word: “Intimacy”. I'm not being flippant, but intimacy (not sexual) in our friendships, relationships, is a “non negotiable”must have. The alternative, as is true for many of us, is skin deep, “maaaate”, untrustworthy and superficial connections – that's a slow death of a man's inner being, by a thousand cuts.
Now let's throw our Heavenly Father in the mix: If a man can't hear God's voice, discern when He's rebuking, teaching, encouraging, advising, listening to us, then how can we expect to “have a word from God, for another person”?
It is true, myself included, that for many of us, the concept of having a decent two way dialogue with our earthly fathers is not great, and to the extreme, where little to no relationship is present, the fruit of that man's life will be evidenced by dysfunction and poor choices.
“This is my Son, in whom I am well pleased”. Imagine if JC (or any of the prophets, disciples for that matter) had never been able to have a dialogue with God, be able to discern the Father's voice? JC would have been a walking mess, I'd predict he would have piked out in the Garden of Gethsemene. You'd want to be absolutely sure you heard your Father's voice when you ask him 3 times “Father, there must be another way.... but not my will, your's be done”.
Here's some more questions I think we should ask ourselves:
Have you ever asked God what He thinks of you? Much like a person speaking at your 40th Birthday?
Write it down
Are you specific with God? Do you generalise things? Do you think He's trying to get past your laundry list and wants to tell you something?
Have you asked God: “So Father what's on your mind? What do you want to talk about?”
When was the last time you had a good barny with God? I don't mean some polite “Yes, Father, no Father”
When was the last time you negotiated with God?
When was the last time He rebuked you, big or small?
When was the last time He told you something significant and specific about your future?
I ask these questions because I know He's more keen to speak directly with us than have us rattle off lists and religious statements. For crying out loud, He even states that He knit you in your mother's womb, you and I are in His image, we have his spiritual DNA on the inside of us, that He is a Father to the fatherless... He could go on (and He does – in the Bible). And even more so, God's big enough to take care of Himself, I could be out of line here, but I think given the option He' prefer to have an argument with you and get to the core of your issue, rather than a religious prayer that's been run over so many times it's part of the road.
So, feeling encouraged to get plugged in to fleshing out this issue?
Let's start with John 14:15-16
“If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and ill be with you forever – the Spirit of Truth. The world can not accept him because it neither sees Him r know him. But you know him, for he LIVES IN YOU AND WILL BE IN YOU.... The Holy Spirit will teach you, remind you and will give you Peace”
“We will worship God in Spirit and in Truth”...
God is a person
God is Spirit
He connects by the Holy Spirit
How can a man hear God, if he rejects the Holy Spirit?
JC said: “I only do what I see my Father doing” How could JC know what his Father was doing if he couldn't see and hear God?
So how does this relate to me?
We need to turn on our inner man, turn on our spirit man, if I can put it that way. I can see in many men's mind, images they are having right now of men in circles, sitting down legs crossed, or some wacky man calling out ghosts in an abandoned house...
Truth be known, engaging our spirit is no more complicated and mystifying than being still and asking God to sit to next you. Before you know it, He's there in the form of the Holy Spirit, ready for a chat. Before you know it, you sense He has filled the room (God never just enters and takes a spot, He always fills it completely)with his Presence and you are more alert and engaged ready to talk and listen.
As Realmen, hearing our Father's voice and having what I call: A dialogue with God, is as fundamental to our successful future, as keeping fit and healthy. This topic to my mind is an easy one to overlook, because we walk through life assuming all Christian men are okay, so long as they are in church. But on the inside we're dying by a thousand cuts, because we either haven't quite figured out how to hear His Voice, or if it's really Him – ever had that one!? And more so, the whole concept of “spirituality” has to some men, been passively feminised, that we automatically shut down when the topic comes up. For other's the only way God speaks is via the Bible – period. Which is not a bad place to start, but limits God's ability to have an intimate father son relationship. No to belittle to Bible in any way, but could you imagine whenever you speak to your earthly father it's not with free speech, but always through a book?
In the next instalment, we'll look at the Barriers to Entry to hearing God's voice and Attuning our Inner Man to our Fathers.
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