IRONMEN – VISION OF
Are you the sharpest tool in the shed?
“As iron, sharpens iron,
So a man sharpens the counsel of his friend”
Proverbs 27:17.
Or another way to put it, as one of my previous managers would say to me: “Ben, how can you soar like an eagle when you’re surrounded by turkeys...?”
You have to admit, the man has a point.
We all become like the people we engage and include on a consistent basis.
As you and I walk this life out, as men created in the image of our Father, I need the ongoing support and camaraderie of other men. Men whom I can be sharpened by, men whom I can sharpen, men just like me, wanting to walk strong, though stumble and fall, but know that my inner man, integrity and character are in tact and get back up.
You see, I run a connect group for men - I call it “Ironmen”. For those that have completed an Ironman triathlon (3.8km swim, 180km bike, 42km run), you only need to look around your competitors to know that you hope you’ve trained as much, if not more than the guy next to you.
The Ironman event is a long journey, with different disciplines, different stages, and a raft of emotions that track both ends of the spectrum. But as with any distance event, mental toughness and just plain old dogedness, is what’s needed in the final stages to get you home, finishing strong.
Sounds like a life you want to compete in? That’s what Realmen ministry and Ironmen is for. As a man in his mid 30’s, beautiful wife (some would say “trophy” wife, but we’ll leave it at that), 3 fantastic healthy happy kids, church commitments, full time job, hectic schedules, wife that works part time, a little business travel, swimming, dance, art lessons, training for 100KM endurance events, social catch ups, assisting school community reading programs..... you’re trying to synchronise 4 diaries into your iPhone......sound familiar?
Then one day: bang! It all changes because of a stupid decision you made on a business trip in a moment of weakness.... or, you check the bank statement online, your wife’s called saying she can’t buy the groceries because there’s no credit or cash left, the mortgage interest only payments are 10 days overdue... or, you’ve found out your wife has been sexually assaulted years ago and it’s come to the surface 5 years into your marriage and she says, she’s not in love with you any more.....
You know as well as I do, these scenarios, are not fake or trumped up. And where is God in the midst of this?
The purpose of Ironmen, is to get sharpened in my decision making and improve and test my character pillars and be spiritually game ready for when life throws curve balls at my decision making.
Why be wise and sharp after the fact? That’s a “Monday’s expert” Men, let's get pre-emptive here. God says: My son, pay careful attention to wisdom!
As I see it, Ironmen has the following 4 objectives that, play out in the Proverb: As Iron sharpens Iron, so a man sharpens the counsel of is friend.
1. Use the Word of God:
To be used accurately: to use it accurately, we’ve got to digest it and cross examine it
As a fall back position: when our faith is failing, and we’re tired and in a weakened state
As a weapon of mass destruction: It’s our Father’s weapon to building our world
2.Safety
We all need our own solace at times, but too much alone is a pathway to self delusion and then ultimately destruction.
A place for men to have safe harbour from the tempest of life, no judgement, no criticism,
but a place of understanding and rest from issues that only men know about.
A place that doesn’t feel like you’re in the therapy room, but can discuss and work through in confidence. Church is great, but men need spiritual intimacy without having their thoughts and feeling emasculated.
3. Encouragement
No hand holding here, but shoulder to shoulder. Hand on shoulder, encouraging the other, standing with another man: “you’re going to get through this, it’s going to work, I don’t know how, but I know it’s going to work out”. No well meaning, but ill timed motherhood statements or bible passages without context of the man’s personal situation.
Encouragement that build’s another man’s inner man. Only men can impart that to another, usually it’s our fathers, but not stating the bleeding obvious that some father’s have done the opposite. Besides, men need all the encouragement we can get.
4. Hero’s and Champions
Without getting corny, every man has the God given spiritual DNA on the inside of him to be the conquerer, the champion, the hero, the last man standing. We might not say it in words, but we want our wives, kids, colleagues, leaders and friends to publicly state they couldn’t have completed life through without us. Our Father has created us in His Image, His DNA is on the inside of us, there's a reason we want to be the hero, the champion, it's our Father's imprint for crying our loud, we need other men to draw this out, to step up to the plate and take ownership and conquer challenges that others have been shouldering in our absence.
My father took his own life just before my 2nd birthday. My mother found him in the car in the garage. That was in 1977, September 12. Imagine if he'd been involved in something like Ironmen ministry at the time...?
Men today, we're not basket cases, or irresponsible, or juvenile, but we do need to sharpen each other up, keep the next generation on their toes, lift the benchmark of the strength of our inner man. We need each other with our Father's spirit to achieve that. Iron sharpening Iron, sharpens Iron, sharpens Iron.....
Thursday, August 5, 2010
HEARING THE VOICE OF GOD
IRONMEN – Having a dialogue with your Father
Discerning our Heavenly Father's voice – Part 1
Let me start by putting this suggestion out there:
If you or I (now this is to men I am speaking to) can't hear or decipher when our heavenly father is speaking to us, then I suggest that our walk with God will result in either or combination of:
A leaving of that relationship
A religious based relationship ( I.e it's unfulfilling and unsatisfactory, but it fills a void to have some base line connection with God)
A frustrated one sided relationship with no genuine connection or spiritual and emotional intimacy
Okay, so before we go on, yes I did mention the word: “Intimacy”. I'm not being flippant, but intimacy (not sexual) in our friendships, relationships, is a “non negotiable”must have. The alternative, as is true for many of us, is skin deep, “maaaate”, untrustworthy and superficial connections – that's a slow death of a man's inner being, by a thousand cuts.
Now let's throw our Heavenly Father in the mix: If a man can't hear God's voice, discern when He's rebuking, teaching, encouraging, advising, listening to us, then how can we expect to “have a word from God, for another person”?
It is true, myself included, that for many of us, the concept of having a decent two way dialogue with our earthly fathers is not great, and to the extreme, where little to no relationship is present, the fruit of that man's life will be evidenced by dysfunction and poor choices.
“This is my Son, in whom I am well pleased”. Imagine if JC (or any of the prophets, disciples for that matter) had never been able to have a dialogue with God, be able to discern the Father's voice? JC would have been a walking mess, I'd predict he would have piked out in the Garden of Gethsemene. You'd want to be absolutely sure you heard your Father's voice when you ask him 3 times “Father, there must be another way.... but not my will, your's be done”.
Here's some more questions I think we should ask ourselves:
Have you ever asked God what He thinks of you? Much like a person speaking at your 40th Birthday?
Write it down
Are you specific with God? Do you generalise things? Do you think He's trying to get past your laundry list and wants to tell you something?
Have you asked God: “So Father what's on your mind? What do you want to talk about?”
When was the last time you had a good barny with God? I don't mean some polite “Yes, Father, no Father”
When was the last time you negotiated with God?
When was the last time He rebuked you, big or small?
When was the last time He told you something significant and specific about your future?
I ask these questions because I know He's more keen to speak directly with us than have us rattle off lists and religious statements. For crying out loud, He even states that He knit you in your mother's womb, you and I are in His image, we have his spiritual DNA on the inside of us, that He is a Father to the fatherless... He could go on (and He does – in the Bible). And even more so, God's big enough to take care of Himself, I could be out of line here, but I think given the option He' prefer to have an argument with you and get to the core of your issue, rather than a religious prayer that's been run over so many times it's part of the road.
So, feeling encouraged to get plugged in to fleshing out this issue?
Let's start with John 14:15-16
“If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and ill be with you forever – the Spirit of Truth. The world can not accept him because it neither sees Him r know him. But you know him, for he LIVES IN YOU AND WILL BE IN YOU.... The Holy Spirit will teach you, remind you and will give you Peace”
“We will worship God in Spirit and in Truth”...
God is a person
God is Spirit
He connects by the Holy Spirit
How can a man hear God, if he rejects the Holy Spirit?
JC said: “I only do what I see my Father doing” How could JC know what his Father was doing if he couldn't see and hear God?
So how does this relate to me?
We need to turn on our inner man, turn on our spirit man, if I can put it that way. I can see in many men's mind, images they are having right now of men in circles, sitting down legs crossed, or some wacky man calling out ghosts in an abandoned house...
Truth be known, engaging our spirit is no more complicated and mystifying than being still and asking God to sit to next you. Before you know it, He's there in the form of the Holy Spirit, ready for a chat. Before you know it, you sense He has filled the room (God never just enters and takes a spot, He always fills it completely)with his Presence and you are more alert and engaged ready to talk and listen.
As Realmen, hearing our Father's voice and having what I call: A dialogue with God, is as fundamental to our successful future, as keeping fit and healthy. This topic to my mind is an easy one to overlook, because we walk through life assuming all Christian men are okay, so long as they are in church. But on the inside we're dying by a thousand cuts, because we either haven't quite figured out how to hear His Voice, or if it's really Him – ever had that one!? And more so, the whole concept of “spirituality” has to some men, been passively feminised, that we automatically shut down when the topic comes up. For other's the only way God speaks is via the Bible – period. Which is not a bad place to start, but limits God's ability to have an intimate father son relationship. No to belittle to Bible in any way, but could you imagine whenever you speak to your earthly father it's not with free speech, but always through a book?
In the next instalment, we'll look at the Barriers to Entry to hearing God's voice and Attuning our Inner Man to our Fathers.
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