So here's a question:
Where do your values come from?
What defines them?
Why are they important and in which order?
How do you know they are your core values Vs just preferences ?
Scenario 1
The world was a fluke, a 1 in a trillion chance of ending up as we are, without purpose, without thought or design or principles. Without wisdom, without governance.
Mankind, through survival of the fittest or by sheer luck rises to dominate the world.
Where do values come into play...?
We have to create them ourselves, everything, every rule, every principle, every conscious thought process and action is then audited through the values and value system we have created ourselves individually.
Then we turn to the person next to us, they have an entirely different set of values, and as time goes on, those values (as do yours) change.
Outcome: ???
Scenario 2:
God created the universe (heavens) and earth in wisdom, with structure and order, with values and principles.
Mankind lives according to values and a value system according to the author of life.
All mankind living in agreement of the values.
Outcome: ???
To my mind, as men, it is wisdom in practice to ask ourselves, where do my values come from, why I believe in them and what is their purpose for my life and the people around me.
Upon reflection, I am a man with several strong convictions and priorities. How do I know that? Because of the way I live my life, where I spend my time and money and who are the recipients of that.
Your most precious asset you have in life is yourself and your time, once you give it out, you can never get it back.
Your second most precious asset are the assets/resources you have to spend on ourselves and others.
Currently my core values in order:
Faith
Wife
Family
Health (all aspects)
Work
People & Community (especially Men and then the vulnerable)
Now for others they will be different, and as time and circumstances change, so will the core values and I suspect their order
But just think about it men for moment, isn't it so important where these values come from.
Some will say from our parents (or lack thereof), their school, their community, their spiritual instructors or enlighten ones, great people who have impacted our lives.....
Which are all (assuming the values have some connection to God's Truth) good, but the question I have, is are they in line with the Author of Life. God never says "go your own way and I'll bless you". Just think about it, you'd never say that to your son .. off he goes for example, doing drugs, getting STD's, cheating his way around employers, avoiding taxes and more so lying to your face so he can get more cash off you... and you say "Bless you, here you go.. keep up the good life"...
Alright, some of you might be saying "well Ben, that's extreme, I don't need God or a god to align my core values, I've got my own and they've got me to where I am today, thank you very much".
Okay, then let's tone down the previous example with a sample of today's Values in action:
"I feel out of love with her and feel in love with another woman" (Bob Hawke on Hazel and Blanche)
"Check this out, I got free workcover with my broken wrists because I claimed i did it on the way to work, when I injured myself on the weekend" (work colleague - last week)
"I can do anything I want, I am my own man, it's my right to live the life I want to live" ( associate)
"Why would the child need a father, I'm all it needs" (single woman talking about her IVF conceived child with anonymous sperm donor - 4 Corners)
"Year 12 girls are more likely to have had sex than boys, and teenagers are likely to have had sex with more partners than a decade ago, a national survey has shown. More than 61 per cent of year 12 girls said they had had sex, compared to 44 per cent of boys of that year, the study by LaTrobe University's faculty of health sciences researchers found." (SMH: Oct 6 2010)
(as an aside to this last quotation, what does it say of our value system, when teenage girls are imitating the bad behaviors of men and out pacing men)
"A baby can be terminated or aborted at 20 weeks because it's not considered a human being by the state, even though it has everything you and I have, it's just immature" (midwife at the Royal Hospital for Women)
You see life would seem to be so much simpler and easier if we lived by the value system of scenario 1.. then we wouldn't "force" our values on others if they don't match, but then the fruit of that is in some areas is clearly evident today. 90,000 babies aborted each year and growing, billions invested prisons, tax fraud, security, health, etc etc largely because men are rudderless value vessels. Men, we want to be better than that. We want to at least give life a good hard crack at being "top shelf" men, putting a big smile on our Heavenly Father's face.
IMAGINE THE NEXT GENERATION OF MEN LIVING OUT SCENARIO 1, NO CORE VALUES, NO CORE TRUTH.... and the cycle passes on to the next generation...
In addition to the question of where do our values come from and why we believe them, that's all good if we know the answer, but then we have to apply them.
Wisdom is the application of Godly values. Values without implementation are as useful as salt water in the desert.
Proverbs 8:22-36 - "Wisdom's call" is the application of God's value system. Basically saying, if you implement God's values, you're wisdom in action and you'll live the life Jesus spoke of " a rich and satisfying life".
Summary
In my heart of hearts, I know men have an inner desire to aspire to be live up to the greatness that God has called us. We watch a movie, read a book or hear in the news of some man who's given much, accomplished greatness in his community, forgiven and overcome personal mountains... and we are emboldened to do the same for a fleeting moment. The movie Amazing Grace- the story of Lord Wilberforce, Invictus - the story of the Springboks and President Nelson Mandela, The Blind Side - the story of the homeless kid, "big Mike"... and then the story of Jesus Christ, the man who said " Father forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing", "I have come, not to condemn the world, but to save it" "I am the way, the truth and the life, no one comes to God but through me [ my values, my value system, my ways, because i know how this life works best being the son of the author of life]
"Seek God first and his heavenly ways, don't worry about missing out, and the rest of your life will be taken care of" (Matthew 6:33)
Monday, October 18, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Values
Values
Where do they come from, what values do you have, how do you define values and what place do they have in our lives?
When you think about it, values are such a crucial aspect to a man's life and the path that he and his family, friends and associates walk.
I'm not sure about you, but this is one area that I've overlooked and haven't appreciably meditated on and seriously defined. Don't get me wrong, I have strong convictions and principles, but to qualify and prioritize my core values - that I have not done and would suspect, most men haven't.
Pastor AR Barnard states that for men to grow - that is improve in their walk in life, they need 3 structures:
Clearly articulated world view
Clear set of core values
Clear set of core purposes
So let's look at point 2.
Order V's Chaos
Before the fall of man, there was order and structure, God had structure and order, chaos ( the opposite of order and governance) entered man's world at the fall of man with his decision to abandon God's order.
So Christ comes into our lives and begins the restoration of that order in our lives, that is, as men, we're begin a reconstruction process, we're "under construction". Christ rebuilds our lives, we then have to consolidate and defend each new part and then rebuild the next part of our life. Man does not become immediately fixed and restored by a prayer, but a process with the HS.
The point of defending that reconstruction is that chaos is always circulating around the perimeter of our lives looking for an opportunity / weakness to re-enter our lives. For example, poverty, proclivities, hatred, anger, violence, infidelity, fear...
So where do values come into this?:
Core Values have the following:
- They are convictions, not preferences
- What you are willing to stand for, fight for, pay the price for
- They are non-negotiationable
- If you violate them, you are effectively betraying yourself, you are sinning
- They guide your choices
- They are the lens by which we make choices
(Choices we as men make are the very reason I am running Ironmen)
When we define our core values, then we need to think about how we prioritize them.
Think about this, 2 people, married, both have the same values, but have them at different levels of importance. This immediately becomes a point of contention.
The husband values career higher than she, and she values time together higher than career....
Once we have defined our core values and assigned a value system to them, we then should begin to see how these govern our lives.
Jesus, as an example gave men a value system:
"Seek first the kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you"
"I have come to give life, and life in all it's best and greatest... a rich and satisfying life"
and John says:
" I wish above all things that you prosper and are in good health, just as your soul prospers"
Values are a key to achieving that rich and satisfying life.... the author of Life, giving us the value system to unlock the door to a great life..
For me a little but powerful revelation about how powerful the definitions of my values was when thinking about my time at my previous employer, for 2 years I enjoyed my time, but for the last 3 years I always look back with a sense of discomfort and unease. It occurred to me while preparing this talk, that the reason was partially because my employer did not have the same values as I - there was conflict.
Just think about this for our career's an work life - if your boss's value or employers value systems are not the same as yours, there is immediate conflict.
In our marriages, if your wife's' values are different from yours, there is likely a large emotional bankruptcy going on in her heart built up over years of not meeting her values... or her's not meeting yours, manifesting in frustration and a wandering eye.
Next Week we'll look into where do values come from, how to implement them, what values we've come up with...
Where do they come from, what values do you have, how do you define values and what place do they have in our lives?
When you think about it, values are such a crucial aspect to a man's life and the path that he and his family, friends and associates walk.
I'm not sure about you, but this is one area that I've overlooked and haven't appreciably meditated on and seriously defined. Don't get me wrong, I have strong convictions and principles, but to qualify and prioritize my core values - that I have not done and would suspect, most men haven't.
Pastor AR Barnard states that for men to grow - that is improve in their walk in life, they need 3 structures:
Clearly articulated world view
Clear set of core values
Clear set of core purposes
So let's look at point 2.
Order V's Chaos
Before the fall of man, there was order and structure, God had structure and order, chaos ( the opposite of order and governance) entered man's world at the fall of man with his decision to abandon God's order.
So Christ comes into our lives and begins the restoration of that order in our lives, that is, as men, we're begin a reconstruction process, we're "under construction". Christ rebuilds our lives, we then have to consolidate and defend each new part and then rebuild the next part of our life. Man does not become immediately fixed and restored by a prayer, but a process with the HS.
The point of defending that reconstruction is that chaos is always circulating around the perimeter of our lives looking for an opportunity / weakness to re-enter our lives. For example, poverty, proclivities, hatred, anger, violence, infidelity, fear...
So where do values come into this?:
Core Values have the following:
- They are convictions, not preferences
- What you are willing to stand for, fight for, pay the price for
- They are non-negotiationable
- If you violate them, you are effectively betraying yourself, you are sinning
- They guide your choices
- They are the lens by which we make choices
(Choices we as men make are the very reason I am running Ironmen)
When we define our core values, then we need to think about how we prioritize them.
Think about this, 2 people, married, both have the same values, but have them at different levels of importance. This immediately becomes a point of contention.
The husband values career higher than she, and she values time together higher than career....
Once we have defined our core values and assigned a value system to them, we then should begin to see how these govern our lives.
Jesus, as an example gave men a value system:
"Seek first the kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you"
"I have come to give life, and life in all it's best and greatest... a rich and satisfying life"
and John says:
" I wish above all things that you prosper and are in good health, just as your soul prospers"
Values are a key to achieving that rich and satisfying life.... the author of Life, giving us the value system to unlock the door to a great life..
For me a little but powerful revelation about how powerful the definitions of my values was when thinking about my time at my previous employer, for 2 years I enjoyed my time, but for the last 3 years I always look back with a sense of discomfort and unease. It occurred to me while preparing this talk, that the reason was partially because my employer did not have the same values as I - there was conflict.
Just think about this for our career's an work life - if your boss's value or employers value systems are not the same as yours, there is immediate conflict.
In our marriages, if your wife's' values are different from yours, there is likely a large emotional bankruptcy going on in her heart built up over years of not meeting her values... or her's not meeting yours, manifesting in frustration and a wandering eye.
Next Week we'll look into where do values come from, how to implement them, what values we've come up with...
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