Have I got What it Takes?
Society has been great at raising boys to become... boys.
Is the church much the same..?
So we've talked through the breakdown of the Masculine spirit and heart, our image of God as our Father and the idea of what our impressions are of our father and impact that has had on us.
The framework of finding something in our heart worth fighting for, stepping up to the plate so to speak. To answer the question: Have I got what it takes?
“To give a man back his heart is the hardest mission on eartth”
“Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out”...Proverbs 20:22
Out of the heart of a man, spring the issues of life... Proverbs
So the question in my mind, is “how do I answer the question: Do I have what it takes to be the man?”
I think another way to ask this is: Do I think other people see me more as a “nice guy” or as a “man of substance, a man of influence?”
Becuase a good measure is, am I my own man? i.e am I comfortable in my own skin, my own presence, or do I put a front up? Better still, can I be honest with God and stand up like a man to him.
So coming back to the question, how do I know I have what it takes..?
For many of the following statements are true:
No one has trained me in manhood
No one has initiated me in manhood
No one has validated me as a man reaching this milestone
My wife has never said: “you are the man of the house, the man of my life” (and with respect! Too!)
I have never heard God say: “'Insert name', you are my son, you're a man, becuase you have my heart and you are not intimidated to accept Me”
From my personal experience, I somewhat joke about the line to other single guys: a boy becomes a teenager when he get's married, but then he becmes a man when he has a child.
Hear me straight, I am not saying you have to have kids to be a man, but the converse is very true for many of my age group (30's), for single guys: they're teenagers in adult bodies, unable to committ, unable to save, unable to take the risk of having kids and accepting that the world is not about Saturday night, the next OS trip and the next upgrade of the BMW. But I digress.
So let's focus on one are that may help answer this question: Do I have what it takes?
Our Wives
Just think about the woman you married: She captiavted you, made you feel like a million bucks, a hero, a man. You won her heart, her trust, she opened herself up to you and you felt like you could be her man, her protector, her lover.
Years go on, she know's your patterns, habits, she sleeps with you, feeds you, has your kids... and how do you feel about your “manliness” today around her.
She had the power to validate you as a man, and she has the power to invalidate you.
Do you respect the deepest desires of your heart and the deepest truth that you need validation as a man? Do you have self repsect?
Next week we'll go through the initiation into manhood and finding the most important initiation: our heavenly father's voice
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Heart of a Man: Part 1 - What's broken down?
Do we bear our Father’s image and where has that broken down.
“The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives”
“You can tell what kind of man you've got simply by noting the impact he has on you...”
Am I a man? If so, who's said so or validated this?
Am I am man in God's eyes?
My WIP definition: A man accepts responsibility and has authority. (“dominion mandate”)
A man of God: accepts responsibility and takes authority and is guided by his heavenly Father.
“This is my son, I am well pleased in you Jesus...”
If a boy is to become a man, if a man is to know he is one, this is not an option. A man has to know where he comes from and the substance of what he's made of. (JE)
Substance: The image we bear: God's, our Father's?
“You're just like your father...” is that a good or bad thing?
If it's negative (as many men are trying hard NOT to be like their fathers), then where do we derive our strength and validation from?
Who does that leave them to follow after?
If we bear the image of God, what is the perception of God?
To me it's mixed with Angry/almighty/unobtainable/holy/magnificent/unfathomable to loving/gentle/patient/generous/ to unknowable/unpredictable/beyond being figured out/remote.
But then, usually at odd times in the quietness of my spirit, he's a Father, proud as punch with me or disciplining me or advising me.
The important point to note here is, God has placed in us a unique person(ality) with a male heart (desires/wants/needs/predisposition/thought processes/dislikes etc). To my mind, if you look at Jesus, he was an out there man. Pursuing, conquering, doing a work greater than himself, building a platform for others to do greater works than him....
The Struggle
There is something fierce in the heart of God
.
For men, the heavenly is a battlefield, as too is earth. Not to over dramatise it, but I do know from personal experience, Satan has done a fine job of neutralising this aspect in us. That is to say, men have in some way been drugged or sanitised to the battles we face ( or another way is deceived). And the biggest one, is the spiritual battle - to know and seek our heavenly Father. Better still beyond recognising that God exists and that he is a rewarder of those who diligently seek him, Satan has a great knack of base-lining the relationship - much like many of us have with our fathers.
12And from the days of John the Baptist until now, the Kingdom of Heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force. Matthew chp 11.
There is something adventurous in the Character of God
There is something captivating about God and his desire to relate with us.
What’s broken down?
“Without a great battle in which a man can live and die, the fierce part of his nature goes underground and sort of simmers there ina sullen anger that seems to have no reason”
“ How come when men look in their hearts they don’t discover something valiant and dangerous, but instead find anger, lust and fear? Most of the time I feel more fearful than I do fierce”
“So many of us have been told to put that adventurous spirit behind them and “be responsible”, (JE)
What is man for? The dominion mandate: Build, rule, conquer, create, administer
“Every man repeats the sin of Adam, every day. We won’t risk, we won’t fight and we won’t rescue Eve. We truly are a chip off the old block” (JE)
Fear:
“I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid..”
Behind our job, gym, clothes, we what achieve.
To me a really good telling point, was finding the personal space to “relax” and just be a Man in the presence of others, don’t need to say anything or be someone else or fill in the void of silence, but to just be me. To let the other person feel the weight of my presence as a man.
For work a really good question to ask, is what if you lost your job, where would that leave you on the status of Manhood?
“Am I really a man? Have I got what it takes.. when it counts?”
… to fight for my marriage, my job, my self respect, my dignity, my children’s future, my Pastor...
… to say No and be ok that people aren’t going to like it
…to pursue that woman, to give an honest answer....
Just look at Jesus: he didn’t pull any punches, he stated his position, whatever the environment. And he fought, for something greater than himself. A real man.
“The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives”
“You can tell what kind of man you've got simply by noting the impact he has on you...”
Am I a man? If so, who's said so or validated this?
Am I am man in God's eyes?
My WIP definition: A man accepts responsibility and has authority. (“dominion mandate”)
A man of God: accepts responsibility and takes authority and is guided by his heavenly Father.
“This is my son, I am well pleased in you Jesus...”
If a boy is to become a man, if a man is to know he is one, this is not an option. A man has to know where he comes from and the substance of what he's made of. (JE)
Substance: The image we bear: God's, our Father's?
“You're just like your father...” is that a good or bad thing?
If it's negative (as many men are trying hard NOT to be like their fathers), then where do we derive our strength and validation from?
Who does that leave them to follow after?
If we bear the image of God, what is the perception of God?
To me it's mixed with Angry/almighty/unobtainable/holy/magnificent/unfathomable to loving/gentle/patient/generous/ to unknowable/unpredictable/beyond being figured out/remote.
But then, usually at odd times in the quietness of my spirit, he's a Father, proud as punch with me or disciplining me or advising me.
The important point to note here is, God has placed in us a unique person(ality) with a male heart (desires/wants/needs/predisposition/thought processes/dislikes etc). To my mind, if you look at Jesus, he was an out there man. Pursuing, conquering, doing a work greater than himself, building a platform for others to do greater works than him....
The Struggle
There is something fierce in the heart of God
.
For men, the heavenly is a battlefield, as too is earth. Not to over dramatise it, but I do know from personal experience, Satan has done a fine job of neutralising this aspect in us. That is to say, men have in some way been drugged or sanitised to the battles we face ( or another way is deceived). And the biggest one, is the spiritual battle - to know and seek our heavenly Father. Better still beyond recognising that God exists and that he is a rewarder of those who diligently seek him, Satan has a great knack of base-lining the relationship - much like many of us have with our fathers.
12And from the days of John the Baptist until now, the Kingdom of Heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force. Matthew chp 11.
There is something adventurous in the Character of God
There is something captivating about God and his desire to relate with us.
What’s broken down?
“Without a great battle in which a man can live and die, the fierce part of his nature goes underground and sort of simmers there ina sullen anger that seems to have no reason”
“ How come when men look in their hearts they don’t discover something valiant and dangerous, but instead find anger, lust and fear? Most of the time I feel more fearful than I do fierce”
“So many of us have been told to put that adventurous spirit behind them and “be responsible”, (JE)
What is man for? The dominion mandate: Build, rule, conquer, create, administer
“Every man repeats the sin of Adam, every day. We won’t risk, we won’t fight and we won’t rescue Eve. We truly are a chip off the old block” (JE)
Fear:
“I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid..”
Behind our job, gym, clothes, we what achieve.
To me a really good telling point, was finding the personal space to “relax” and just be a Man in the presence of others, don’t need to say anything or be someone else or fill in the void of silence, but to just be me. To let the other person feel the weight of my presence as a man.
For work a really good question to ask, is what if you lost your job, where would that leave you on the status of Manhood?
“Am I really a man? Have I got what it takes.. when it counts?”
… to fight for my marriage, my job, my self respect, my dignity, my children’s future, my Pastor...
… to say No and be ok that people aren’t going to like it
…to pursue that woman, to give an honest answer....
Just look at Jesus: he didn’t pull any punches, he stated his position, whatever the environment. And he fought, for something greater than himself. A real man.
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