Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Relationships: Forgiveness





If relationships are the purpose of my existence, and the malady is the depravity and corruption of my heart that wantonly destroys relationships, then what is the antidote? 

What is the core issue of why a relationship does not get restored after if has broken down? 

Last week we talked about how some antidotes or prescriptions can get pretty weird if the diagnosis is wrong. Well show me a faith, religion, secular worldview that not only demonstrates forgiveness but the restoration and transformation by the transgressed for the transgressor.

Can you think of a world view, a faith, a philosophy, a community, a government or a an individual towards others whereby they being the benefactor take the judgment, the beneficiary is the wrong doer. And the relationship results in the transformation of the wrongdoer to their perfect or restored state?

Analogy:
The father of the raped and murdered child not only proactively reaches out to murderer to forgive and release him from his guilt and stands on behalf of him at his trial to pardon his crime, but then carries him, works with him and invests time and money into restoring the murderer so he becomes a new man. 


Forgiveness: between God and myself and between others I have transgressed and have transgressed me. 

Grace: unmerited favour... "For it is by grace you have been saved, not by works for this is a gift from God" Ephesians 2:8-9.

Do you and I not see that the problem with mankind is the depravity of the heart actively or passively destroying the very purpose of our existence - to functionally relate to one another, with love being the ultimate expression, and fail to understand that the true medicine is forgiveness. 

Suppose one says, I don't need to forgive, I just "let be what will be". Can love exist or have its proper expression in that worldview? After all forgiveness is not required if that person just "let's it go"?  Can freewill (and love) exist coherently in that worldview? 

Do I not realise that far from my thinking that Jesus came to save me from the separation between my maker and I, but equally and almost more relevant today than into the next life, Jesus smashes through my egotistical ideology and saves me from myself. My wanton depravity to return to my vomit of un-forgiveness - of him of her or that company, that group, that government, that family member, that murder that rapist that crook.... To carry and carry and carry and carry and hold on so tightly like a precious jewel my bitterness, anger, self righteousness, rage, disgust - my un-forgiveness. 
Jesus you ask too much of me, "to err is human, to forgive is divine". Yet my malady if not dealt with by the medicine of forgiveness will continue my self-destruction. 
Oh that Jesus recognises this more than we give Him credit for, "here, a helper will come, a comforter, the Holy Spirit, to transform you and restore you back to your original purpose, because I know you can't forgive without His spirit inside you". (to paraphrase John 15).



"Father forgive them for they know not what they do [as they were hammering 7 inch long and 3/8 inch wide nails through his wrists and feet]..."



Parable of the Unforgiving Debtor
21Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”
22“No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!
23“Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. 24In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars.  25He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.
26“But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ 27Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.
28“But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars.  He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.
29“His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. 30But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.
31“When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. 32Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. 33Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ 34Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.
35“That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”

For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins. For God in all his fullness was pleased to live in Christ, and through him God reconciled everything to himself. He made peace with everything in heaven and on earth by means of Christ’s blood on the cross. (Colossians 1:13, 14, 19, 20 NLT)

“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:14, 15 NLT)

I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours. But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too. ” (Mark 11:24, 25 NLT)

But people are counted as righteous, not because of their work, but because of their faith in God who forgives sinners. (Romans 4:5 NLT)


By TIMES ONLINE 
Added: Thursday, 08 January 2009 at 11:00 AM

Reposted from:

Before Christmas I returned, after 45 years, to the country that as a boy I knew as Nyasaland. Today it's Malawi, and The Times Christmas Appeal includes a small British charity working there. Pump Aid helps rural communities to install a simple pump, letting people keep their village wells sealed and clean. I went to see this work.

It inspired me, renewing my flagging faith in development charities. But travelling in Malawi refreshed another belief, too: one I've been trying to banish all my life, but an observation I've been unable to avoid since my African childhood. It confounds my ideological beliefs, stubbornly refuses to fit my worldview, and has embarrassed my growing belief that there is no God.

Now a confirmed atheist, I've become convinced of the enormous contribution that Christian evangelism makes in Africa: sharply distinct from the work of secular NGOs, government projects and international aid efforts. These alone will not do. Education and training alone will not do. In Africa Christianity changes people's hearts. It brings a spiritual transformation. The rebirth is real. The change is good.

I used to avoid this truth by applauding - as you can - the practical work of mission churches in Africa. It's a pity, I would say, that salvation is part of the package, but Christians black and white, working in Africa, do heal the sick, do teach people to read and write; and only the severest kind of secularist could see a mission hospital or school and say the world would be better without it. I would allow that if faith was needed to motivate missionaries to help, then, fine: but what counted was the help, not the faith.

But this doesn't fit the facts. Faith does more than support the missionary; it is also transferred to his flock. This is the effect that matters so immensely, and which I cannot help observing.

First, then, the observation. We had friends, who were missionaries, and as a child I stayed often with them; I also stayed, alone with my little brother, in a traditional rural African village. In the city we had working for us Africans who had converted and were strong believers. The Christians were always different. Far from having cowed or confined its converts, their faith appeared to have liberated and relaxed them. There was a liveliness, a curiosity, an engagement with the world - a directness in their dealings with others - that seemed to be missing in traditional African life. They stood tall.

At 24, travelling by land across the continent reinforced this impression. From Algiers to Niger, Nigeria, Cameroon and the Central African Republic, then right through the Congo to Rwanda, Tanzania and Kenya, four student friends and I drove our old Land Rover to Nairobi.

We slept under the stars, so it was important as we reached the more populated and lawless parts of the sub-Sahara that every day we find somewhere safe by nightfall. Often near a mission.

Whenever we entered a territory worked by missionaries, we had to acknowledge that something changed in the faces of the people we passed and spoke to: something in their eyes, the way they approached you direct, man-to-man, without looking down or away. They had not become more deferential towards strangers - in some ways less so - but more open.

This time in Malawi it was the same. I met no missionaries. You do not encounter missionaries in the lobbies of expensive hotels discussing development strategy documents, as you do with the big NGOs. But instead I noticed that a handful of the most impressive African members of the Pump Aid team (largely from Zimbabwe) were, privately, strong Christians. Privately because the charity is entirely secular and I never heard any of its team so much as mention religion while working in the villages. But I picked up the Christian references in our conversations. One, I saw, was studying a devotional textbook in the car. One, on Sunday, went off to church at dawn for a two-hour service.

It would suit me to believe that their honesty, diligence and optimism in their work was unconnected with personal faith. Their work was secular, but surely affected by what they were. What they were was, in turn, influenced by a conception of man's place in the Universe that Christianity had taught.

There's long been a fashion among Western academic sociologists for placing tribal value systems within a ring fence, beyond critiques founded in our own culture: theirs and therefore best for them; authentic and of intrinsically equal worth to ours.

I don't follow this. I observe that tribal belief is no more peaceable than ours; and that it suppresses individuality. People think collectively; first in terms of the community, extended family and tribe. This rural-traditional mindset feeds into the big man and gangster politics of the African city: the exaggerated respect for a swaggering leader, and the (literal) inability to understand the whole idea of loyal opposition.

Anxiety - fear of evil spirits, of ancestors, of nature and the wild, of a tribal hierarchy, of quite everyday things - strikes deep into the whole structure of rural African thought. Every man has his place and, call it fear or respect, a great weight grinds down the individual spirit, stunting curiosity. People won't take the initiative, won't take things into their own hands or on their own shoulders.

How can I, as someone with a foot in both camps, explain? When the philosophical tourist moves from one world view to another he finds - at the very moment of passing into the new - that he loses the language to describe the landscape to the old. But let me try an example: the answer given by Sir Edmund Hillary to the question: Why climb the mountain? Because it's there, he said.

To the rural African mind, this is an explanation of why one would not climb the mountain. It's... well, there. Just there. Why interfere? Nothing to be done about it, or with it. Hillary's further explanation - that nobody else had climbed it - would stand as a second reason for passivity.

Christianity, post-Reformation and post-Luther, with its teaching of a direct, personal, two-way link between the individual and God, unmediated by the collective, and unsubordinate to any other human being, smashes straight through the philosophical/spiritual framework I've just described. It offers something to hold on to, to those anxious to cast off a crushing tribal groupthink. That is why and how it liberates.

Those who want Africa to walk tall amid 21st-century global competition must not kid themselves that providing the material means or even the knowhow that accompanies what we call development will make the change. A whole belief system must first be supplanted.

And I'm afraid it has to be supplanted by another. Removing Christian evangelism from the African equation may leave the continent at the mercy of a malign fusion of Nike, the witch doctor, the mobile phone and the machete. 

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